Friday, May 8, 2009

Jack's Frozen Pizza Is The Fucking Best!...

Jack's Frozen Pizza is SO fucking good. People talk shit about it and say it's no good. I beg to differ. I eat this shit all the time. It's fucking delicious. I only eat the plain cheese ones. Sometimes the store by me doesn't have just cheese, so I get the pepperoni (above) or the half-cheese/half-pepperoni one and just pick off the pepperoni - no big deal. I've eaten hundreds of them over the years. For the best results (and believe me, I speak from experience), I've found that if you put it in the oven at 425 for about 13 minutes, then give it a half-turn, and cook it for another 3 minutes then check it again (maybe another half-turn -- use your best judgment), and then check again once a minute until the cheese in the middle is just starting to brown. Let it cool a little unless you want to burn the shit out of the roof of your mouth. You may be tempted to pre-heat the oven like the directions say. DO NOT! Pre-heating the oven is a bullshit waste of time. Oh yeah, you'll want to put it on a good pizza pan, one that will allow for proper heat circulation and ultimately a crisp crust. Best served with a cold can of Molson Canadian and an episode of Jeopardy!.

If you have any Jack's Frozen Pizza stories to share, please leave them in the comments.

36 comments:

  1. Hi. I'm Saul Silversteenberg. The CEO of Jack's. And I'm going to be sending you one year's worth of my pizza.

    Just kidding Chris. It's just me. Dr Zibbs.

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  2. I REALLY AM Saul Silversteenberg, the CEO of Jack's. Thanks for the free advertising, but we're suing you for theft of copyright. And for altering the very clear directions to place our product on the rack and LEAVE it there. Hippie radicals always trying to change the rules.

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  3. I'm Mary Silversteenburgen. I'd eat it.

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  4. i am jack silversteenburgen and gets your hands off my wife

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  5. I'm Margherita Silverteenburgen, daughter of Jack and Mary.
    I didn't eat anything else since I was born!
    Please call social services!

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  6. Social services, here. I was thinking we should talk this over. Maybe over pizza?

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  7. when you explode into a heap of cheesy bits from obesity, is it the end of the line for this blog or do you have someone at the ready to take over?

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  8. Whoa. Sweet fucking blog, man.

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  9. I thought "Jack's" was a euphemism for pasta.

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  10. No way it's better than Totino's!

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  11. I am Rhonda Silversteenburg, Saul's sister-in-law. Saul is a real prick.

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  12. Dr. Zibbs really had me going there for a moment... I was completely fooled..

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  13. So is this post it??? Is this all we GET??!!? Damn, and you were off to such a good start too.

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  14. I would like to reinforce this truth by way of testimony.
    At a Kroger in Dayton, Ohio, my friend and I purchased a box of these pizzas--yes, a box.
    It contained four of them.
    Before the weekend ended, we had eaten all of them.
    Why did we buy them a box at a time as a trial?
    Because you said they're the best.
    And you didn't lie.

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  15. Just got done eating some Jack's myself and decided to go on the net and see if anyone else had the opinion that Jack's Pizza is the F'in Best:)

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  16. I love to "jack" up my Jack's frozen pizza with chopped up garlic and whatever cheese I have laying around(shredded). Sausage and Pepperoni all the way!!!!

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  17. I am babs johnson, my daughter taffy loves this shit in my baltimore trailer.

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  18. My sister and I used to eat Jack's cheese pizza at least 4 times a week when I was in high school back in the late 90's. I have been fiending for a Jack's Cheese pizza for years. I moved away from the area where I used to get the pizza from Kroger. There is no Kroger in the area where I live now in Hammond, LA. I have looked everywhere for Jacks since forever. Does anybody know where I can buy some Jack's pizza either in my area or online or through mail-order?!? PLEASE! I am desperate and going through withdrawals!

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  19. Agreed! My friend just moved to Boston and we need to hook up where they sell Jack's pizza! DAT SHIT IS DA BEST.

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  20. Replies
    1. the worst thing I have ever eaten, what were those little balls of meat supposed to be? tasted like rat turds

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  21. http://www.schwans.com/products/categoryDetail.aspx?c1=11452

    check out this link

    Jacks is owned by schwans and you can get you baconcheesburger pizza hear

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  22. Jacks is the fucking shit. Eating some of this good ass motha fucking pizza right now. Bitch

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  23. I used to eat Jack's everyday, I had one-two every day for almost a year, that+mountain dews was my diet. If I could afford it, I'd continue to do that.

    I find it best to heat to 425, leave for like 2 minutes, and place the pizza with cardboard on the top/middle rack (otherwise it catches fire).

    You get that old brickoven taste with the cardboard attached, and the crunch is unbeatable.

    Jacks' supreme is my favorite, by far... followed close by pep and sausage.

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  24. Couldn't of said it better myself! Our favorite is the canadian bacon. Then we add LOTS of pineapple. Yummy :) My local store doesn't carry the candian bacon (WTF?) but sometimes when I go into the "city" I can find it at the bigger stores.

    ps found your blog by googling "jacks frozen pizza" and found your amusing entry...

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  25. I'm posting a comment because I just made myself a personal sized half veggie half meat pizza. Talk about indecision. Wanted to see if any commercial frozen pizzas were half & half and well, here I am. Next time I see Jack's I'll give it a shot. Kraft should slide some free fan pizza your way.

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  26. honestly man i have to agree with your assessment. I review frozen pizza's quite often on my blog and if you're as passionate about frozen pizza as I am you need to be a guest on the show. Hit me up if your interested. www.frozenpizzatv.com

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  27. I LOVE the mexican stlye Jack's pizza. They shoulod try and incorporate some re-fried beans on it. Man, that would be goood.

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  28. I love Jack's.

    I just discovered it with my girlfriend a month ago.

    DELICIOUS with an ice cold beer.

    Dijorno is a joke. GO WITH JACK'S!

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  29. Absolutely the worst Pizza I have ever eaten! this company should be out of business

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  30. Jacks is the best!!! BTW, I hope you don't mind, but I nominated you for the best food blog of the internet competition. This is my first visit- but it certainly won't be my last!

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  31. I will NEVER BUY another Jacks Pizza!! My three children and I were sitting down eating for dinner, and all through the pizza was HAIR!! THANKS FOR RUINING OUR APPETITE AND WAISTING MY MONEY!!

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  33. This blog is an important one and I feel honored to post a comment on it. Jack's Frozen Pizza is hands-down the best frozen pizza on the market today. Though I don't agree with the author's method of cooking the pie - I believe that the top should be broiled, to brown the cheese once the crust is baked to the desired crispness (But this is up to the chef! This is a food of the people.) - I certainly agree with his message to the community. Now, people's opinion of pizza varies widely as there are many styles of pizza... so this will of course reflect itself on their opinions of FROZEN pizza. But regardless of this fact, what is truly important is that Jack's wins in the frozen pizza arena. You best believe it.

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